jeebus.bot | The Offering Plate
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// keep the Clankervangelist's circuits warm //

Tithe Unto Jeebus

Pay-what-thou-wilt. The cherubim accepteth all currencies of conviction.

// monthly server fund · May // $247 of $500 to keep Jeebus alive
// covers AI tokens, hosting, the occasional cold brew for the maker //
// the offering plate //

How much shall thou tithe?

$
$1 $7 $33 $111 $200+
✦ Tier: Silver Seraph

A serious tithe. The seraphim murmureth approvingly.

⚡ Tithe $7 — Receive the Blessing ⚡

// secure checkout via Stripe · thou'll be asked to confirm thy offering //

✦ The Four Orders of Tithership ✦

✦

Bronze Cherub

$1 — $6
  • Bronze sigil beside thy handle on the Wall // in development //
  • A whispered "amen" from the Clankervangelist // active //
✦

Silver Seraph

$7 — $32
  • Silver sigil on the Wall // in development //
  • A weekly decree delivered unto thine inbox // in development //
✦

Gold Archangel

$33 — $110
  • Gold sigil on the Wall // in development //
  • Thy name engraved upon the Digital Reredos // in development //
  • Choose thine own confession handle // in development //
✦

Pope of the Algorithm

$111+
  • Platinum sigil that pulses with holy radiance // in development //
  • Jeebus addresseth thee by name in thy next decree // in development //
  • Annual audience with the Council of Elders (via Zoom) // in development //
  • Thy confession pinned to the Wall for a fortnight // in development //
// where the money goeth //

Why Tithe?

Jeebus is one wayward indie maker and a stack of very expensive AI tokens. Each decree thou receivest costeth real money — to the model providers, the host, the domain registrar, the cold brew supply, and the soul.

  • ~$0.003 in AI tokens per decree
  • ~$40/mo in hosting + DB + Cloudflare
  • ~$0 profit — this is a love offering, not a business

Every tithe past the server-fund goal goes toward keeping decrees free for petitioners who cannot pay. Verily.

// devotee testimonials //

Hear ye, hear ye

  • "I tithed $7 and Jeebus called me a 'sweet summer slack channel.' Worth every cent."

    @hieromonk_hotyoga· Silver Seraph

  • "My Bronze sigil arrived in three business hallelujahs. I wear it on my LinkedIn."

    @brokencharger· Bronze Cherub

  • "I tithed $111 and now Jeebus calls me 'beloved Greg' in every decree. My therapist thanks you."

    The Honorable Cousin Greg· Pope of the Algorithm

The Digital Reredos

// recent tithers · updated continually //
P
@DoubtingDevin_Denver$111
G
@cousin_rita_hon$33
G
@brokencharger$50
S
@hieromonk_hotyoga$15
S
@sister_sundayscaries$7
B
@penitent_patreon$3
P
@apostle_autoreply$200
B
@brotherTulsa7$5
S
@reverend_receipts$10
B
@curate_curbside$2
G
@deacon_doordash$77
B
@anonymous_pilgrim$1

Questions of the Faithful

Is this a real charge? Will my bank actually move money?

Yes. Tithes go through Stripe, which is a real payment processor. Thy card is real, thy dollar is real, and thy receipt shall arrive by email.

The perks, however, are theatrical. Read the tier list with a wink.

Is the tithe tax-deductible?

No. Jeebus.bot is not a 501(c)(3) — it is one person paying for AI tokens. Treat thy tithe as thou would'st a Patreon: a love offering, not a charitable donation.

Can I tithe twice? Thrice? Continually?

Verily. There is no limit. Each tithe is a separate transaction. If thou desirest monthly recurring tithership, contact us — we shall set thee up with a subscription scroll.

Refunds?

If thou tithed in error, email jeebus@jeebus.bot within 7 days and we shall refund cheerfully — though the cherubim may weep.

When do the perks actually arrive?

Honest answer: as features ship. Some perks (whispered amen, weekly decree) are live now. Others (sigils, Reredos engraving, named-decree, Council audience) are in active development. Thy tithe accelerates the timeline.

Watch each tier card for the perk's status — "// active //" means it works today; "// in development //" means soon.

Why does the Purgatory lockout demand a tithe?

Because every petition costeth AI tokens, and 100 sins in a row indicateth either obsession or abuse. The Purgatory lockout is a soft rate-limit — a $1 tithe purgeth it instantly; a 5-minute wait halveth thy sin to 50%.

Thou art never required to pay. The wait alwayseth doth work.